i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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