His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
