you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
