That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
vagina is talking i cant
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
