So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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