I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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