they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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