oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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