youre lurking in front of me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
