ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
