You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
