my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
