Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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