Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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