just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
