I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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