she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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