I love black thongs
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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