the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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