I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
