return my video game
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
