There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
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