ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
