Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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