you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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