Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
