goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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