I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
