i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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