At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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