I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
