I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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