she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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