Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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