he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize