Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
