Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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