I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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