thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
