I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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