just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
