and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
