It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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