My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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