that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
