don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
