Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
