Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
