Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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