She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He passed out mid-signature
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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