at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
