How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
