No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
