hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
