He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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