My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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