Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
