i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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