she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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