Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
