yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
