I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
try to milk me bitch
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