id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
