thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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