If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
